After that first court appearance, I never went back to the courtroom. I think of this when people say, “you’re so strong”, I was not. I am not. When my sister was a baby, I was about 4 years old, I remember crawling in her crib and I would place my finger right under herContinue reading “Entry 16: Sentencing letter”
Tag Archives: Sibling loss
Entry 15: Not Guilty
To the reader: Some of you, who have gone through a similar experience as mine, have asked what to expect in the courtroom. This was my experience and it was my last because I didn’t think my body or mind would have been able to handle another courtroom visit. I don’t think anything can trulyContinue reading “Entry 15: Not Guilty”
Entry 13: The Music of September
To the reader: It has been 9 months since I last shared pages from my journal. Grief, though always with me, visits with all of it’s wrath in September. Usually I begin to feel it around the beginning of September, during my birthday. My sister forgot to call me on my birthday the year sheContinue reading “Entry 13: The Music of September”
Entry 11: Words Hurt
My Dad would choose who would carry my sister’s casket. Something no one really thinks about until it is time to bury a loved one. However, perhaps we should think about who would carry our casket when we die. Maybe if we decide this prior then there would be one less argument. Probably not though,Continue reading “Entry 11: Words Hurt”
Entry 5: Unstable
For the first few years after Christina passed I thought for sure I was going crazy. I remember wondering do people who actual go insane feel they are going insane before they end up insane? If you have ever reached this kind of low then you understand… if not then I pray you never do.Continue reading “Entry 5: Unstable”
Entry 4: September 29th, Captive
My hope that the body wasn’t my sister’s didn’t last long. My mom and dad walked in shortly after I read the newspaper. My mom didn’t really “walk in”, she was more carried in, my dad on one side of her and my uncle on the other side. Her feet dragging behind her as theyContinue reading “Entry 4: September 29th, Captive”
Entry 2: September 28th, Gone
The following day was Sunday, September 28th. The day the police officer found my sister while on his routine patrol of the area- a day too late. I wonder, what made him look in the field that day but no one looked the day before? Do the Oregon police officers normally patrol this abandoned field?Continue reading “Entry 2: September 28th, Gone”
Entry 1: September 26-27th, The Feeling
The night my sister went missing, September 26, 2003. I felt something was wrong, something with my sister. Correction: I knew something was wrong because I could feel it in my soul- my sister calling out to me. When I’ve shared this ‘feeling’ with people they will often look at me with part pity andContinue reading “Entry 1: September 26-27th, The Feeling”
September 28th 